Such is the theory –- sorta –- at the Caudalie Spas. There are currently only three in the world, and I am luxuriating in a vinotherapie massage in the Relais San Maurizio Hotel in the heart of the Piedmont region of northwestern Italy. The vintage is being absorbed into the skin rather than ingested into the bloodstream.

As is also true in Bordeaux, France and Sonoma, California -- their other locations -– here wine is king! And the appreciation of its many attributes –- which, as you know, I try to do as often as I can – is a venerated practice. So it only seems appropriate that the consumption of wine extend beyond traditional imbibing.

Jets of water are swinging across my body –- I feel like I’m being irrigated -- while Simonatta, wearing a head-to-foot plastic apron (not your usual masseuse attire) is rubbing me down with an oil extract made from the seeds, skin, stalk and pulp of the grape.

I refrained from asking if the oils needed to breathe before reaching their full essence, or whether it was a Pinot Noir, Sauvignon or Cabernet blend.

Okay, I can hear you laughing, but it’s true. That’s how they identify the massages. There’s even one where you lay in a wine barrel and ferment -– no, I made that up –- but the Barrel Bath promises a mild exfoliating effect with grape extracts selected for their draining and relaxing properties.

There are lots of different options: a Red Vine Bath, Honey and Wine Wrap, Crushed Cabernet Scrub, Bordeaux Stone Therapy, Pulp Friction Massage. Speaking of movies…apparently, I’m in good company. Catherine Zeta-Jones, Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts, Madonna and JLo all have vegged out in vino over the past couple of years. Wait until AA hears about it –- they’ll have to start whole new chapters.

So here’s the theory behind all this: It began in 1993, when a professor at the Bordeaux University of Pharmacology started promoting the anti-aging benefits of those parts of the grapes that are usually discarded. He was probably drunk at the time…

Personally, I think his claims are a little grandiose. The promotional materials boast that these little wine-bearing grape guys contain polyphenols which, once stabilized, have priceless benefits for the skin, as their incredible capacity to trap free radicals is unequaled in the plant world. Sounds too much like a break-through miracle cure: Moisturize, not metastasize.

And then they put a shot-glass-sized portion of the oil mixture into the bath or massage treatment, apparently enough to exfoliate, cleanse, moisturize, increase circulation and reduce stress. Hardly seems enough for the body to get high on.

Okay – so I wasn’t all that impressed. Maybe I should have opted for the Cabernet Scrub rather them the jet-stream massage. As the jets of water swept side to side during the final rinse, I felt like a well-washed piece of fruit.

Suffice it to say, when I passed a well-stocked wine cellar enroute back to my room, I couldn’t help but think I’d much rather be drinking wine than bathing in it.

Until my next destination –

Fyllis

Fyllis Hockman is a Washington, D.C.-based freelance travel writer. She writes regularly for The Washington Times, is syndicated by the Copley News Service, and is a feature columnist for several online travel magazines. Ms. Hockman's travel stories also have appeared in the New York Post, Memphis Commercial Appeal, Providence Journal, Halifax Herald, Boston Herald, Gazette Newspapers, Asbury Park Press, New Hampshire Sunday News, Buffalo News and many other publications. She is the author of AAA Guidebook: A Photo Journey to Washington, D.C. and co-author of the Pelican Guide to Maryland. Ms. Hockman is a member of the Society of American Travel Writers and Travel Journalists Guild.

Photos courtesy of Caudalie Spas.

© 2005

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