Tennessee Smoky Mountain Vacation: A Yankee in the Smokies

Arriving at the Dollywood Vacation's Pigeon Forge Cabins, I bolted for the balcony and eased into a maple wood rocking chair just as the sun was setting. The three-story maple wood cabin leaned high over the tree canopy and the Smoky Mountains carved a purple haze in the distance.

My activities for the week were set; I had chosen the adventure route. My plans were to become a Zorbonaut in a Zorb Globe , which is an eleven-foot, 200-pound ball with an inner ball that the person sits in and rolls down a slope.

Then, I would ride a horse up the mountain; next would be river rafting followed by night zip-lining. I didn’t want to miss the indoor skydiving either or ATV (not ATM) riding.

That night I went to sleep happily dreaming about rolling, riding, splashing, zipping, and flying.

But when I woke up the next morning and creaked out of bed, I realized I was 63 years old…and quickly needed to adjust my plans. Bashfully reporting this to the group director, he gave me a list of more sedate activities. Disillusioned by what I could or should no longer do, I glanced at the list of pedestrian opportunities with boredom and reluctantly selected a few.

The gateway communities of Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, Sevierville, Townsend, Cosby would show me what they had to offer and Miss Karen had a lot to learn.

Great Smoky Mountains

First stop: Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Park Ranger Mike took us on a little hike and told us stories like we were at Camp Kitchee Qwichee. We did get the facts though in random order. The Park is 800 sq miles and peaks at 6643’ at Clingman’s Dome. There are 900 miles of hiking trails, and 130 species of trees.

We learned that the Cherokees had been living there for hundreds of years before we arrived and forced them out leading them on a Trail of Tears. The park began in 1934 with a $5 million dollar gift from John D. Rockerfeller.

We drove back and forth over trails with names like Sunnyside, Rocky Top, Cotton Junction and Ring of Fire (that's what Johnny Cash sang about) to get to different attractions.

Activities Galore

There is much to choose from in entertainment, such as Cirque de Chine or Tennessee Shindig, but I chose Wonders of Magic at Wonderworks , for no particular reason. I expected a cheesy magician with the old cut-the woman-in-half trick. But all of Terry Evanswood's tricks were sleight of hand: He was a master at it and I was enthralled.

I was so captivated that when we passed a little magic shop on the side of a deserted road, I loaded up with magic tricks that I now use to entertain my nephews.

While most of the group was zipping, hiking, biking, and paddling, I was having a wonderfully safe time riding a Swiss Pinzgauer up to the Lodge at Buckberry Creek, high atop the town of Gatlinburg, with vistas of the second highest peak, Mt. Leconte. This is my favorite place: ninety miles of trails through forested mountains and thundering waterfalls and, of course, Buckberry Creek runs through it.

Modeling itself on the Great Camps of America, The Lodge at Buckberry Creek borrowed ideas from the Adirondack lodges in upstate New York. The McClean family has owned the property for three generations and calls it The Great Camp of the Smokies. Its suites are rustic, yet elegant with magical views from every window.

We followed a path past a Tepee to a pavilion aside a bubbling creek. A luxurious outhouse complete with a chandelier stood nearby; this was a classy place.

Ol' Smokie has an abundance of rocking chairs and I settled into a fine one in front of a rock-walled fireplace, munching on the fine food proffered by our hosts. A willowy older man with a white beard began telling us stories of the passionate mountain people who struggled to live here. At this point, I no longer mourned my inability to zip, bounce or paddle; I was a happy camper.

We also dined our way through No Way Jose's Cantina in Gatlinburg and Riverstone Family Restaurant in Townsend.

Dixie Stampede

Our scattered group pulled itself together in the evening yaking and laughing about their experiences while departing for the Dixie Stampede. Now, permit me to digress a moment. As a Yankee from the North, I noticed some major differences between the North and South. Had I been ignorant of America's history, I would think that the Civil War had just ended. Union and Confederate soldiers popped up in several shows re-enacting battles. What puzzled me was, why would the losing team want to reenact a battle? Nevertheless, Patriotism gushed from Ol’ Smoky. Once, the audience stood up prior to a show and sang the national anthem. In the North, we save such behavior for baseball games.

The Dixie Stampede of Dolly Parton's dream, is everything it claims: It is a fun-filled action-packed [family] extravaganza. It is a North vs South themed competition heralded by patriotic songs such as When Johnny Comes Marching Home, The Battle Hymn of the Republic, God Bless America, The Star Spangled Banner, Dixie and to be fair, Yankee Doodle Dandy.

It really is a spectacular show with a herd of trained buffalos performing tricks and kids from the audience chasing chickens. We ate a delicious four course meal while watching many events I'd never heard of such as toy horses racing with dolls on their backs; throwing toilet seats in a game of horseshoes; and baby pigs racing in Pork Chop Downs.

The audience cheered and hollered for those little piggies and I marveled at so much Southern ingenuity.

At the Comedy Barn I got to see my myopic impression of the South: two talented clodhopping girls, an incredible mountaineer banjo player who looks like an Appalachian Santa Clause and the silliest, funniest comedians I ever saw. No one chewed tobacco.

When You Visit
Tennessee Department of Tourism Development
Pigeon Forge Department of Tourism
Sevierville Chamber of Commerce